Note: Theatre/Cast Security has the right to frisk anyone we believe to be carrying contraband at any time, as well as eject any member of our audience for not following the rules of our theatre. This is for the safety of our performers as well as our audience.

  • Absolutely no drinks or food not purchased at UMT are allowed in the theatre or lobby. This violates both our rules and the theatre rules. It really shouldn't take much explaining. Part of UMT's profits come from their concession sales, and we encourage our audiences to support the theatre by buying their drinks in the lobby.

  • Absolutely no glass containers in the theatre. This is really covered under the first rule, but we wanted to emphasize how much we really dislike cleaning up broken glass at 2:00am in fishnets and heels.

  • No weapons of any kind. Do we really need to explain this one?

  • No fire, open flame, or devices that generate excessive heat. Fire code, honey. Yes, it's that simple.

  • No smoking in the theatre or lobby. Fire code again. Don't you love it?

  • No clothing that exposes bare buttocks, genitalia, or nipples. Sorry darlings, that's Virginia law. If we see anyone dressed illegally, we will have to ask you to leave (but hopefully not without getting your phone number first).

  • No rice, water, silly string, or other foodstuffs/thrown objects that are hard to clean up. Remember the bit about cleaning up broken glass at 2:00am in fishnets and heels? Yeah, basically the same reasons apply. Don't make our lives any more difficult than they already are, please.

  • Stay out of the aisle. This is partly because of fire code issues and also because the cast does move up and down the aisle during several scenes. We can't stop the movie to wait for you to find your seat, so do us a favor and stay in it.

  • No cursing in the lobby. We are not the only people using the theatre. Please be considerate of the fact that some people are here for the late late showing of Finding Nemo and not to hear transvestites curse. So watch your fucking mouth.

  • Do not overpopulate the lobby. Again, let's try to be considerate of theatre staff and patrons. Do not block exits, concessions, restrooms, or congregate in common areas where you might be an inconvenience/disturbance. Also, do not leave the outside entrance to the theatre propped open; UMT has to pay for heating and air conditioning, after all.